I think of three years of following the news of the revolution, martyrs, bombs and conspiring and interested countries, and I feel suffocated... What is patriotism anyway?!
Two years ago, I suddenly stopped listening to the news, and the question kept going through my mind: could it be that I no longer care for what’s going on?! Could it be that I no longer care for all those images that news agencies report?!
Could it be that I’ve lost my attachment to my country?! For I no longer miss it, and I just want to preserve a «handful» of the beautiful memories that I experienced there lest they be replaced with images of destruction and devastation.
My name is Raya and I’m 26. I came to Beirut two years ago...
My experience here is far removed from the experience of many others, which makes me feel like Beirut is my home. I was lucky that I didn’t have to look hard for work. I started working 15 days after my arrival and I’m still working in it. Most of those who know me here know me as the Syrian with the Lebanese dialect, the fact which makes many people doubtful about me being Syrian as my accent has become truly Lebanese. There are also people who are surprised and reproach me for abandoning my mother dialect (the Syrian dialect), so sometimes I try to justify it and sometimes I don’t.
Here I’ve met a lot of people, most of whom have become close friends, so much so that I feel that they are closer to me than those I knew in my country. This gives me a certain sense of safety. This is the first job that I have kept for almost two years in six years, as I have never kept a job for more than a few months before. Here no one has bothered me and I haven’t felt any racism, superiority or sectarianism.
Very often I defend the people expressing their vexation at the huge presence of Syrians in Lebanon. I cannot blame a country with a population of four million and that has welcomed two million Syrians. I also criticize people who compare what is happening now in Syria with what happened in Lebanon during the war and the fleeing of some Lebanese to Syria. And with humor I say a joke: if each and every Lebanese moved to Syria, they won’t trouble the Syrians seeing the area of Syria compared with that of Lebanon (we wouldn’t notice them). But the difference between Syria and Lebanon is that my country gives preference to foreigners: a foreigner works for double the Syrian’s salary there, whether Lebanese or of another nationality.
What I want to say in conclusion is that the problem is not us as peoples, and the term Syrian or Lebanese, this is what they taught us and planted in us, those who govern our work, salaries and ways of life, those who offer us opportunities or give them to others to create classes, racism and hatred between nationalities and religions.
The conclusion that I arrived at is that I’ve been living the best days of my life here for the past two years. I’ve established the nicest and most beautiful relationships of my life. I’ve worked hard and labored here. This has become my second country, for a country is generosity, love, honesty and friendship and not a piece of land to fight over its ownership.
Finally, I say that Beirut is... my home and family.